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Love Theory

8/18/2017

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"No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite."
NELSON MANDELA

Those of us that desire to spread love through the hearts of the community and the world, may need to employ the same techniques as those who have mastered how to brainwash narrow minds to hate.
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So first, let’s define hate and tackle why people hate.  The dictionary definition of hate is intense or passionate dislike or extreme emotional dislike. What drives people to this level of emotion? Most sensibly, if you or someone you love is severely harmed, that pain and disdain can manifest into hatred. However, we also know that love, humanity and compassion can override or at least subdue those feelings of hate so that we don’t fight hate with hate.  There are no winners when we do that. Then there is hatred that exists and makes absolutely no sense.  I would think that an intelligent mind would understand that, but realistically even those that are educated and have sane minds fall into the trap of adopting a mindset that allows them to accept hate. Now, if you call them out on it, they don’t define it as such. Hence, part of the problem. 

Hate can be generated out of fear, jealousy, bigotry, low self-esteem, helplessness, hopelessness or anger.  Ahhhh, now we are getting somewhere.  If we know what causes hate, then we need to eliminate those things.  There is a bigger element of hate that is passed down through generations, cultures or communities.  It may have been triggered as previously described and then taught.  In this case, we have to suffocate hate with something equally or more powerful.  I suggest that power is love.

 No misunderstanding, hate is taught.  Additionally, hate breeds hate.  It is taught directly or indirectly through consistent exposures to hateful teachings or acts or consistent experiences.   It is like those of us who have accepted religion or cultural routines because that is what we have been taught and it is what we have experienced.   In general, these things aren’t harmful so we adopt the policy of “to each his own”.
What we do know however, is that hate is harmful.  Hate causes people to suppress others.  It causes people to kill and ridicule and eliminate. It causes people to blindly accept ideas grounded in prejudices and idiotic theories.  Then, often, the hated become the haters.  This creates the cycle.  Society suffers through the crops grown from hate.  These weeds include diminishing the value of life, suppressing opportunities of a people and extinguishing hope.  When hate is the foundation of policy, it becomes dangerous.  The rise in hate crimes is concerning.  Hateful acts are described as deliberate infliction of cruelty with a purpose to cause suffering. http://www.overcominghateportal.org/hate-as-an-act.html
 
We are not born to hate although, we may have been born in it.  With all that being said, what do we do? What strategies do we put into action?  Scientifically, hate emerges similarly to love which brings me to belief that if we counteract the causes of hate with reasons that make us love, we may be able to change some things.  As a side note, it is a pretty common belief that the church teaches love and it should, but you can’t teach love and judge at the same time.  I’ll sit that right there for another day.  Back to strategies... be tolerant of differences without being tolerant of those in your circle that exhibit hate.  If you are my friend and your friend hurts me or hates me just because…. and you don’t call them out on it,  you are not my friend.  It’s been said many times, if you are not a part of the solution, you are a part of the problem.  To be a part of the solution try being kind for no reason, accepting individual differences without judgement, being charitable, seeking to understand before being understood and embracing the value of each individual as equal.  This seems like a pretty good recipe to me.  I am committing to these things and I commit to model these things.  I am one, but there is power in many.  Who will join in the commitment to suffocate hate with the air of love?  If you want to be counted in, please make one statement in the comment section of your intent. #talkwitht

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Social Media Shames

8/6/2017

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 I know that people use social media for a variety of purposes and primarily, that is their choice.  So, the following obviously just reflects my opinions. Social media is for social engagement, social entertainment, networking, promotions and keeping up with friends and family. Social media can be fun and funny.  I often turn to social media for a good laugh or inspiration.  Social media is not for glorifying violence or hatred. It can inform, but not reform. It should debunk, but not derail.

I see people posting the most inappropriate things, they openly argue with someone and a part of me says to each his own.  But, I do think it is disrespectful to post pictures or posts that announces a loss in someone’s family that is not your own.  Sometimes Facebook puts out the news before there has been time to contact the family.  It is an awful thing to learn about a family tragedy on Facebook.

And then, people post offensive pictures and such.  That is just messy.  Sometimes posts are just nasty and vulgar. But like I said, if you are okay with the whole world knowing that part of your taste, then so be it.  You have to remember that your social media posts are a reflection of your character. People have been fired over their social media posts.  People have lost scholarships over their posts.  Was it really worth it?

While I'm venting,  I have another suggestion, please consider using words you know. Don’t try to acquire an unfamiliar vocabulary to try and sound intelligent.  Just be yourself and keep it simple. Also, check the dates of your news stories and make sure you aren't contributing to spreading gossip and rumors found on satire sites. I'm going out on a limb here, but there are a lot of people that seem real thirsty for attention.  I just hope you are getting the right kind and not more than you bargained for.  I encourage you not to seek validation from Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumbler or any other cyberspace celebrity club.

Finally, I am not ashamed to profess my faith as a Christian.  I sometimes read and share inspirational posts and I would like to believe my life and character align with things I share. I see people that are one way in the streets and reinvent themselves on social media.  Or, one minute they are telling me to hit "like" so that I will be blessed by God and the next minute, they are posting profane pictures or posts.  Or, pictures of them turnt up when they should be worried about being burnt up for being so shamelessly blasphemous.  How are you going to guide me to heaven's gates while you are sitting on Hell's porch.

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    Tanisha Baker 
    Talk Show Host

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